Tips for Creating Friendships and Community for Homeschooled Teens

Cultivating connections and friendships while homeschooling is an often discussed topic. In fact, most homeschooling parents I hear from are looking to help their preteens and teens connect with other groups and communities.

As our children get older, they naturally want (and need) solid and healthy peer groups. But how do we do this?

Get creative

Finding and connecting with other homeschooled preteens and teens can be challenging. You have to be creative and proactive to make and/or find opportunities. This might be stepping out of your comfort zone to post on Facebook groups or hosting classes or clubs (more on these below). Just like with so many things with homeschooling, creativity is a must.

Get your teens involved

You've got to partner with your kids in building friendships and connections. I have three teens who are all so different and have different needs and desires when it comes to making friends.

If you have a more introverted teen, forcing them into a huge co-op might be counterproductive. On the other hand, if you have an extroverted extrovert (raising my hand), you might find that you're sampling a variety of classes, clubs, events and more to help them stay engaged.

Get realistic

Make sure you and your teen have a clear idea of what you're both looking for in a community. My family and I live in a very homeschool-friendly area with oodles and oodles of homeschoolers of all ages, and there are clubs, social events, and more. I know how lucky we are, and I don't take that for granted. I also know this is not everyone's experience.

It's important to explore a variety of groups, activities, and people. Building connections can take time. Don't be discouraged if something doesn't work out right away or if you don't find your "people" immediately.

Try these five ways to connect with other homeschooling teens

I'm sharing five ways that you and your teens can connect with others to help build friendships and communities. Often, we, the homeschool parents, have to initiate things for our teens, whether reaching out to other parents, hosting events, etc.

Be open to various options and see what works for your family.

• Start with your local Facebook homeschool groups: By and large, I've found that my local homeschool Facebook groups are the best place to connect with other homeschooling families. I've found classes, co-ops, social events, and more by following posts or asking questions. With more and more families homeschooling for middle and high school, you will probably find other families looking to connect, too. You might have to post multiple times to get responses. Don't limit yourself to one group, either. I am active in three local groups. This is a great place to start planning the activities below.
• Play on a homeschool sports team: Our twins have played on our local homeschool basketball teams for four years. Our area has baseball, football, volleyball, soccer and more. You can find homeschool sports teams near you on in TheHomeSchoolMom's local listings. They get tons of exercise and are connected to a large group of other teens. If you don't have homeschool sports in your area, look into starting a sports club or team!
• Start a club: If you build it, they will (hopefully) come. One year, I hosted a middle school geography club. I've also hosted a book club and poetry clubs. My children have also participated in other clubs that other parents/teens have started. It only takes two or three kids to start a club and form a connection around something they all like. Depending on the number of kids, you could find a central location to meet or swap houses each week or month.
• Host a social event: Many local businesses are happy to partner with homeschool groups to offer discounts during their off-peak hours. Ask your teens where they'd like to go with other friends, and then start calling around. We've done events at our local indoor laser tag park, the zoo, bowling alley, ice skating rink, etc. I truly believe homeschooling teens are out there and want to find events or just be invited. Take it upon yourself to schedule just one event and see what happens.
• Start or attend classes/co-ops: I know this last one seems a bit obvious, but it's truly been one of the places we've met many other teens. I know homeschool co-ops and outside classes aren't for everyone, but something about a "built-in" group that your teen interacts with each week for school might make it easier to host socials or start other clubs. If your teen is looking for an in-person class and you cannot find one, research how you could start a class. Be sure to check your state's homeschool laws too!

Consider these non-homeschool-related ideas

For our family, non-homeschool-related options have also worked well for us. These are especially helpful as teens get older and might want to connect with others beyond the homeschool world. Options to explore can include:

• Getting a job
• Volunteering
• Attending local community college classes
• Participating in community sports programs
• Attending community programs (scouting, 4H, faith-based, etc.)
• Acting in local theater productions
• Working or volunteering at local day camps (this has been a great source of connecting and friendships for my oldest son)

Know that connections and friendships take work

No matter where you are on the homeschooling journey, connections and friendships take work, time, and dedication. You might swing and miss a few times before you it a home run and connect with a group that fulfills your teens needs. Don't be discouraged!

Get creative, get your teens involved, and get realistic about the options around you.

Have you succeeded in finding groups and friends for your homeschooling teen? Let us know what worked for you in the comments.