This Ask Jeanne column is not a response to sudden schooling at home because schools are closed; if you are looking for help to implement homeschooling and working full time, Balancing Work Outside the Home and Homeschooling will be more relevant to you. Continue reading for tips if you are considering homeschooling and are concerned about how one parent can stay at home.
Recently, a visitor commented on a post on TheHomeSchoolMom about educating at home. The visitor expressed sentiments that homeschoolers often hear, including the idea that homeschooling is only for privileged families that can afford for at least one parent to stay home.
I would love to homeschool, but I have to work. It's great that you can stay home, but that isn't realistic for most families.
Jeanne's Response:
Homeschooling families work out the balance of earning and providing education for their children in many ways, just as families with children in public school do.
Among both homeschool and public school parents, there are at-home parents (the majority are indeed mothers, but there are also dads who are the primary at-home parent), parents who both work, and single parents who are working.
Having an at-home parent is not in reach for all families; that's for sure. That said, I've seen families sell their larger homes, SUVs, and minivans and move to less expensive places and drive Griswald station wagons in order to make their priorities happen - whether that be homeschooling or college savings for kids or starting a business.
And yes - in some cases, parents can't shrink their expenses into the possibility of one parent staying home with kids. Absolutely. Those parents are fighting to put food on the table every day and pay the electric bill.
But you know what? Some of them still do indeed work for pay and homeschool. If you google "work+homeschool," you'll find a lot of information on how families make this work. Yes! As you can see from googling, some people are even finding a way to blog about it! There are even single parents who are homeschooling.
Child care can work in conjunction with home education, just as child care works in conjunction with preschool or school. Parents plan the child care, and then add their approach to homeschooling: some parents use online programs; others homeschool at night after work; others tag team the homeschooling by having each parent work a different shift and homeschooling when they're off; some people team up with other families, trading kids on different days or for different subjects; some families use homeschool cooperatives ("co-ops") or university model homeschool academies; some families have one parent work part-time; some families are fortunate to have the support of a grandparent who helps with homeschooling (some do it all!) or helps with housing, creating a two generation homeschool family. Still other families manage to homeschool by taking their kids to work with them!
And yes, some people do use blogs or Etsy sales as hobby income, but I also know some at-home moms who have been able to parlay their skills into serious cash. For others, sewing is actually a way to save money on kids' clothes or make furnishings for a cozy home. Still others find crafting and blogging to be part of self-care, time out from being a 24-hour parent or from combining work - paid or unpaid - and raising a family.
None of these possibilities is right for everyone, of course! But my hat is off to the parents I've met who have had the ingenuity to work out how homeschooling, or having an at-home parent, or sending their kids to school, will work best for their family.
Raising kids is tough these days, and homeschooling can feel like it is for the elite. However, homeschoolers do represent a wide range of income levels, including families whose kids would be eligible for free and reduced price lunch programs if they otherwise attended school. That's according to the latest income statistics from the National Center for Education Statistics (the feds who bring us the U.S. Census).
And one last thing about this? Homeschooling is not "school at home." Many people who are sure that homeschooling can't be achieved without an at-home parent may be unfamiliar with the potential efficiency of homeschooling. They are picturing having to move children through curriculum during a six- or eight-hour day at the pace of a school classroom. But helping fewer children learn, in ways that are well suited for them, without the institutional interferences of school (lining up for the bathroom, frequent test prep, children at many levels in one class, etc.), is something that can be accomplished in much less time than non-homeschooling parents sometimes imagine. Of course, child care beyond those hours is still something that has to be covered.
Working for pay and homeschooling is not for everyone. It's not easy. But it's definitely happening.
Some families are also able to find ways to have an at-home parent, whether their kids go to school or homeschool. Some families making this happen are cutting every economic corner they can to make this a priority; others are affluent.
Sometimes an "it-must-be-nice" disdainful attitude is what at-home parents and homeschooling parents are greeted with from people who have no idea what goes into making things work.
I promise: it's complicated, just like the lives of parents whose kids go to public school and who work for pay.
A popular speaker at homeschooling conferences, business groups, and parents’ groups, Jeanne Potts Faulconer homeschooled her three sons in North Carolina, Mississippi, and Virginia for twenty years. Holding her Master of Arts degree in Communication, Jeanne conducted portfolio evaluations for Virginia homeschoolers for evidence of progress for many years. Jeanne is a former college faculty member, former editor for several publications, news correspondent for WCVE, and former director of Brave Learner Home. She is the contributing editor for TheHomeSchoolMom newsletter and writes the popular Ask Jeanne column addressing homeschool parents' questions here at TheHomeSchoolMom.
I’m sorry but not a single piece of advice you offered is an option for us. I really wish that people who are privileged enough to afford homeschooling would just admit they’re privileged.
I live in a run down 30 year old trailer work full time and can barely pay my rent, but I homeschool my 2 children so I don't want to hear privileged, not hardly it's called working my..... off and determination. It is no privilege it's a choice for my children and it's a choice that if I can do it any parent that wants to can you just got to be willing to put the work in and that is not a privilege.
As indicated, this article is not meant to be advice for working and homeschooling. As the post says, "if you are looking for help to implement homeschooling and working full time, [the post] 'Balancing Work Outside the Home and Homeschooling' will be more relevant to you."
Here is a question. I believe in a unschooling/homeschooling approach. I wish it would be called world schooling as "home" gives the impression that you spend your days at home and that is where the learning happens. I believe you learn how to live in this world by living in it. Seeing it and experiencing it. That and other reasons are why I don't want to send my child to school or any other childcare setting. I have a husband who earns not enough for us to survive without me working. I have no family support. I also cannot have my husband watch her for me to work. I do not have childcare options for me to work part time. What ever happened to raising our own children. Ideally I would have family support but I do not. I feel sending my child to school would kill many of her great qualities. I couldn't live with myself sending her into that kind of system. I feel between a rock and hard place and there is zero support for people who want different path.
Mandy, you might find "Balancing Work and Homeschool" (post linked near the top of this page) helpful.
This does not solve a single issue? It just tells us that its the new normal and we have to adjust, just pathetic! They should just get rid of public education, send parents money that used to go school system and therefore make it affordable for a single mother to not have a JOB!!
Hi Juan - As we mention in the intro, this Ask Jeanne column was a response in 2018 to the general notion that homeschooling is out of reach for many families because of finances; it was not written with the current crisis in mind. If you are looking for help to implement homeschooling and working full time, Balancing Work Outside the Home and Homeschooling will be more relevant to you. This article was written long before school shutdowns and was meant to help people who want to homeschool but think it is impossible due to finances. The current situation is incredibly difficult for many families, especially single parents, and I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I agree that it is intolerable for those who must work and are trying to raise children who require supervision. Parents like you are in an impossible situation and we can only hope that things improve quickly for your sake and that of other parents in the same situation.
I don't understand how to work and give my kids any kind of social life. All the activities are while I'm at work and they are at home. Friendships are hard.
Hi Brandie - Not all socializing has to happen with other homeschoolers, or during school/work hours. My children participated in dance lessons, theater, gymnastics, and music lessons over the years, as well as Girl Scouts. Consider weekend and evening activities, and be sure to consider activities not related to homeschooling if homeschooling activities only happen while you are at work. During social distancing, everyone's options are limited, so this is not normal homeschooling life either. Good luck!
Most parents who work full-time and homeschool have their own business. The are entrepreneurs, social influencers, blogger or some other BS like that. But when you work in defense and all the hours you charge working go to the cost of a contract you can be fired for mischarging if you’re homeschooling on company time. The same can be said for a majority of corporate fulltime exempt jobs. Most people who write articles on how easy it is to home school and work full-time have no idea what it is like to have a corporate job.... And of course there are a lot more articles available pointing to this falsehood because those are the people that have time to write them. Due to COVID-19, schools are now requiring parents to home school which to me is ridiculous.
Amen! What a joke, I felt my anger growing picturing the woman writing this sitting at home with a laptop “working”, her children are safe and sound in the other room while I wonder if the 15 year old I’m paying 60$ a day to be there while I am here taking care of others made sure to lock the doors and charge her phone Incase my baby wakes up scared and wants to call mommy again. Saying that, I’ll add in nurses to your comment. Being required to work overtime, no family to help, 3 children to support while working 14 hour days on my feet around sick patients which has also kept away any available help I would have had in this insanity which is our current reality. This is all bs and unless I want to default on my bills and mortgage to apply for food stamps, Medicaid and welfare (all of which cannot be obtained should you “quit” your job regardless of the reason), I’m screwed come August 24th when my teenage overachieving babysitter goes back to online school all day. I had put out countless adds and Facebook posts in search of someone not only reliable, but trustworthy in caring for my babies and am past the point of breakdown. What do I do? I don’t know, I worked so hard to get to this point in life while also providing my children with the love and nurturing they deserve and it’s all going to shit. I can’t sleep, I can’t slow or stop the stress and anxiety of what’s to come from overwhelming me and I get online in hope of finding support from parents in similar situations to read some bs article from a stay at home mom with a blog.
Dear Desparate Mama - You are in a terribly difficult situation, and I'm sorry that you were looking for support and hoping for a solution for your specific situation and were disappointed. This post, written in 2018 before any of us had considered the possiblity of the current state of affairs, was not meant to address the school crisis in which many parents find themselves in 2020.
I hope you will understand that while Jeanne's article will offer some hope to families during this time, it was written to help working parents who might be considering homeschooling—parents who for whatever reason were interested in homeschooling as a possible alternative to public schools. As Jeanne noted in her reply to L, "articles such as this were not written as a way to be glib about the ease of homeschooling and working with zero days to prepare. Just as you didn’t anticipate schools closing, writers of these articles (some of whom are employed in demanding jobs, again, even if you don’t realize that) were not anticipating that someone would read this info when thrust into homeschooling by a viral pandemic."
I encourage you to read all of Jeanne's reply to L above, as it addresses many of the frustrations that you mention. We at TheHomeSchoolMom empathize with your situation and do not in any way want our message to come across as oblivious.
While it is possible to homeschool and work outside the home, the intention of this post was not to address a crisis situation when parents who relied on schools for childcare would suddenly be forced to figure out a solution for having their children at home all day, and it does not hold the answers for parents in that situation.
Jeanne's experience with homeschoolers who work comes from her time as an evaluator, during which she worked with families in a variety of homeschool situations. Homeschoolers who work are not limited to stay at home moms with a blog, but the working parents who have decided to homeschool had the time to consider their options and implement a support framework that would allow them to choose homeschooling. They did not wake up one day with no other choice and the sudden crisis of not having childcare.
The current school situation is not a "can I work and homeschool?" situation, and an article written to address that question cannot possibly meet the needs of an essential worker gone 14 hours a day without childcare, a support network, or children old enough to direct their own learning.
I hope that you find support and answers from your children's school system and your local support network during this home-from-school time.
I totally agree with L. Me and husband have demanding corporate jobs. I have a large team of ppl and a demanding schedule on the phone all day leading conversations. I don’t have time to homeschool my elementary aged children. I don’t have time to eat during the day. It’s totally unrealistic to even think you can sustain both and perform well. It’s also incredibly demoting for my children to be home all day without my attention. Mommy works, I’m not a babysitter. If people are seriously working director-sr level corporate jobs + homeschooling ... that baffles me.
Hi Jane - certainly, working and homeschooling is not for everyone. Jeanne mentions this both in the article and in her reply to L. While there are ways to implement homeschooling when both parents or a single parent work, not everyone will consider those things to be practical or attainable. It's important that we know ourselves, our families, and our situations and consider all three when making a decision about whether to make the necessary adjustments and arrangements to homeschool while working. It sounds like you know that homeschooling is not the right choice for you—that allows you to move on to whatever options are more appropriate for your situation. Best wishes to you and your family.
Parents who have been thrust into having children at home due to COVID-19 are indeed in a tough situation. Homeschooling parents who work corporate jobs (and there are many, even if you don't know them), have the luxury of time to set up childcare (and even backup childcare), plan social and enrichment activities, and pick a curriculum or learning approach. They may take a year working all that out BEFORE they begin homeschooling. Even then, I don't know anyone who works and homeschools and says it is easy. This article was meant to say it's possible but not easy.
If you are working in defense and suddenly find yourself with a child at home, you have had none of this time. You are functioning as best you can in a high-stress situation due to your work, the school closure, and the societal implications of a pandemic. You are not set up for homeschooling as someone who works a corporate job (or any other kind of job) and was able to take the time to PLAN to homeschool. We "regular homeschoolers" definitely recognize the difference.
My heart goes out to parents who find themselves suddenly homeschooling. This is a crisis. This is having your kids home because school is closed; it's not a deliberate decision to add homeschooling to your life. I understand your feeling that it is "ridiculous."
Please know that articles such as this were not written as a way to be glib about the ease of homeschooling and working with zero days to prepare. Just as you didn't anticipate schools closing, writers of these articles (some of whom are employed in demanding jobs, again, even if you don't realize that) were not anticipating that someone would read this info when thrust into homeschooling by a viral pandemic.
Both those who homeschool and those whose children typically go to school may have demanding jobs. In the best of times, when we make an educational change for our kids, we have margin in our lives to make adjustments.
These are not the best of times.
Homeschoolers can offer ideas and information about how they have worked out homeschooling, some of which may not be relevant for someone with kids at home during a school closure. We get it. I can only imagine the task of trying to work through these ideas and still finding no good solution for solving the logistics of working in defense and having kids you are suddenly supposed to homeschool. For those of us who are typically good at solving problems, the frustration is huge.
My hope for all of us, homeschoolers and home-from-schoolers, is that soon enough the road will rise to meet us, and we'll find that walking together for a while helped in some way.
Jeanne
I homeschool our 5 children and my husband works as a restaurant manager. It has not been easy financially at all but we decided that it was what was best for our family and made it work. We cut every corner we could. Cancelled cable, cut date nights down or have them at home, make sure we use as little electricity as possible (no we don't live in the dark, but we became more aware of turning things off when we're not using them,..our bill is less now than when they were in school!), etc... Also I think most people don't even realize how much unnecessary money is spent when your children attend school. School pictures, field trips, performances, materials, special days every other week (they have to pay to have free dress day!)It honestly costs us a little less money to homeschool and there are a lot more affordable options when you can broaden your horizons. For example, we're in a co op that costs $55 a semester per family (all 5 of them) plus very small classroom fees for some classes, I have my 3 boys in martial arts for about $200 a month, 1 of my girls in cheerleading for $400 a year, and both girls in tumbling for $50 a month. Plus they're much more understanding in the homeschooling community about delayed payments and will work with you until you can pay. That's because most of it is run by parents who are also at least somewhat struggling financially and more low/mid class not mid/up class in my experience. We live in a middle class neighborhood but financially we probably classify poor as a family of 7. It's easier than people think to live within your means when you prioritize and put your mind to it. We do this because we were called to and we're determined to make it work no matter what the sacrifice.
My husband is a warehouse manager and makes a little under $50k a year. We just had our 4th child this year. We do similar things to save money like you have mentioned. But we live in a small fixer upper in a lower income neighborhood. It's pretty quiet here and close to the upper middle class neighborhood that we lived in before my husband changed careers.The only extra curricular that I pay for is co-op. That's about $300 a year for all of my kids for now. But once my youngest two get older, it will probably be over $400. The only major debt we have is our mortgage which is less than $500 a month. And the only assistance we get are tax credits even though I'm sure we could qualify for a whole slew of things.
I've found that most of the families at the co-op we go to live a more luxurious lifestyle than we do. I'm not sure how much money their husbands make, but it doesn't appear that any of them are sacrificing as much as my family has to homeschool or maybe we are just more financially conservative. We save money, give to charity, don't use credit unless it's a dire situation, and don't go on crazy expensive vacations multiple times a year. Having that said, I think most moms that I've talked to who say they can't afford to homeschool, really mean they want to live a certain lifestyle, not that they actually can't afford to meet their family's needs and homeschool at the same time. I think if there's a will, there is a way.
Obviously there are exceptions like single parents who may not have the kind of job that allows that or don't feel comfortable using public assistance in order to homeschool. But my SIL is a single mom and homeschools her son without working. A lot of people judge her for it because she uses public assistance to enable her to do this, but I don't. She homeschools for the same reasons that I do. So how could I judge her because some guy decided to abandon her?
Thanks for sharing your experience, Rachel.
Hi Jamie,
Thanks for sharing the way you make homeschooling work for you. Real examples are helpful to readers who may think that homeschooling is just for "some" people or that there is no way they can arrange their lives to homeschool. There are a lot of factors, including the local/regional cost of living and whether your partner or family is supportive or even involved. It's so good to have you provide details of changes you've made so you can afford to homeschool! Thanks for responding with possibilities!
Jeanne
*shlew not slew lol
I homeschooled, because I felt that was the best way to meet the spiritual, emotional, and educational needs of my children. My daughter (now an adult with special needs), and my son (now grown and married) both needed one-on-one teaching for different reasons. My daughter needed loads of repetition in order to gain and maintain academic skills and required a lot of help with both gross and fine motor skills. My son needed the freedom to progress well ahead of grade level in most subjects. To make homeschooling more affordable we did several things, such as: 1) living in a small, older home which we fixed up over the years; 2) driving used cars; 3) taking advantage of opportunities for free or inexpensive family entertainment, such as visits to local parks, museums, and festivals or watching movies at home, and so on; 4) eating all meals at home except for Wednesday nights and Sunday afternoons; 5) buying inexpensive curricula (or sometimes creating our own); and 6) buying clothing from consignment stores, garage sales, and other frugal options.
These are great tips, Glenda. Thanks for sharing how you made homeschooling work for your kids when you also needed to be frugal. I'm glad homeschooling was an option for you and your children.
Jeanne
Yes while it is difficult at times it most certainly can be done says this single parent of (5) however HS (2). I resigned from a lucrative corporate position to now homeschooling daily, working at a local youth center where I work 6 hour days and take my children with me to work. We shop at thrift stores and live lean (food and amenities) and we are all happy for it! Oh and I work weekends delivering food where they are in tow as well (homeschooling opportunity galore with flash cards, Kindles, spelling and reading a loud).
Thanks for giving us an example of how homeschooling parents do make things work, and not necessarily because they are married and affluent. Homeschooling families come in many shapes and sizes, though certainly there are easier or harder situations for some families. We appreciate your comment and wish you well in your homeschooling!
Hi Evelyn,
People have a lot of pre-conceived notions about homeschooling and the people who do it. It's a great feeling to find websites, articles, and groups which validate our own experience. I'm glad you were able to do that here.
Homeschooling is a challenge in many different circumstances, but people manage to work it out.
And there are those big upsides!
We moved frequently as well, and not having to be in and out of different schools was a big bonus of homeschooling.
Good luck on your continuing homeschool journey with that social butterfly!
Jeanne
I was very much appreciative of this article. I have been judged, asked if I am qualified, and simply viewed as crazy to homeschool as you say, it is not easy. I am a full time college student and getting ready to possibly work part time and still homeschool. You are right to say it’s nit a privilege but a choice. We have paid bills off, bought a lower priced home and we do see the benefit of homeschooling. Like anything else in life, if you want it , you can make it happen but sometimes that means giving up certain things. We gain family w travel and homeschooling since we are military. It keeps her from being pulled all the time and she has great social skills. Most never guess she is home schooled because she is such a social butterfly.
Again thanks for letting me know I am not the only one who work and homeschool. I am sure it will be a challenge but we will get through.
I am having issues with juvenile court over truancy and yes my child is enrolled in homeschool program so a judge in Shreveport La. has me scheduled for court again 5/10/18 to force me because of socialization reasons to put my son back in public school even though he was bullied verbally and threatened sexually I need some guidance here!!
I am not a legal representative of any sort but I do know you have rights to choose.
If socialization is a concern do you have him in any programs like after school.
Karate, Lifetime Athletic, dance, etc.
These instill the social aspect but in a different and smaller atmosphere than the public school.
Stand up for what you believe while addressing the concerns.
This meets what is best.
That's just my opinion.
Hi Patricia,
Sorry to hear of your challenges.
The homeschooling laws are different in all fifty states, and truancy laws can also vary from state-to-state.
Because of that, your best bet is to connect with your state homeschool organization for information.
Truancy is a legal situation, and you should seek legal counsel. Provide your lawyer with information about how to homeschool legally in your state.
If your state requires paperwork, notification, or documentation of homeschooling, be sure you have fulfilled all the requirements and submitted everything - and that you have proof that you have submitted everything. (In some states this might mean a sent email or a delivery receipt through the post office).
In some states, "enrollment in a program" is not sufficient proof of homeschooling by itself, and there are other or additional steps you must take to legally homeschool. We here at TheHomeSchoolMom do not have expertise in each state, which is why we suggest you contact homeschool advocates in your state.
In many states, being a homeschooler with all your paperwork in order is a protection from truancy charges.
However, individual homeschoolers could be in circumstances where this is not the case.
These circumstances include previously existing truancy charges (before a child was withdrawn to homeschool), custody issues, and other situations.
Homeschooling does not necessarily provide a cover or exemption from truancy charges in these situations.
I hope you are able to get everything sorted out successfully.