The reasons for choosing to homeschool over the years have varied—concern over values taught in the public school system, distress about peer relationships, a desire to inculcate principles of faith, worries about increased "teaching to the test" procedures in government schools, an interest in providing more individualized instruction.
Whatever the reason, each parent has had a significant "deer in the headlights" look as they have shared their newly chosen educational path. They have one question in common, whether spoken or unspoken: "How do I homeschool my child?"
Many of them have come to me for advice. As if I've got this whole thing figured out.
(Insert eye roll and a loud, exclamatory "Sheesh" here).
Know that you can do it
So I've been trying to put together my best, most humble advice from a non-veteran-but-definitely-broken-in homeschooling Mom. There are many things that I have learned, through my experience thus far in home education, that I think can help a newcomer address one of the central fears I hear across the board: "I just don't know if I can do it".
Honestly, is there a homeschooler out there that hasn't thought that? Even while homeschooling?
Yeah. The truth is, this homeschooling thing is a day-by-day exercise in patience, perseverance, and the willingness to learn from mistakes. I kind of approach it much like parenting. You never feel like you're adequate to the job, but if you are willing to learn as you go, get support when you need it, and you remain committed to making it happen (and, well, rely on a bit of grace from Above), you can be an effective parent. The same with homeschooling.
This series attempts to relay some of those first-time homeschooler fears. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's daunting. But isn't anything that's worth doing?
Yep, just like parenting. Hard, daunting, challenging... and totally worth it. The biggest joys in life come from the things in which we successfully struggle.
So...here it is. Part 1 of my best advice for new homeschoolers.
Be committed
The most important factor to your homeschooling success is not your education level, intelligence, creativity, patience, ability to work well with kids, or aptitude in teaching. The most important factor is commitment. If you are committed to homeschooling, you will find ways to make it work.
One of the best ways to become whole-heartedly committed to it is to understand its benefits. Take the time to learn about the research on homeschooling, and how it benefits children academically, socially, morally, developmentally, and spiritually. Once you believe wholeheartedly that it is the best option for your family (if it, in fact, is), you will be able to develop the commitment needed to overcome any challenges you may face.
Know the law
Homeschooling law varies from state to state, and it is important to know the relevant policies for your area. In most states, there are usually a couple of critical dates of which to be aware (things like dates when testing scores are due to the superintendent's office, and when a homeschooler's Notice of Intent to Homeschool must be turned in).
Be vigilant about keeping necessary dates and requirements so that your ability to homeschool is not compromised. For more information on the homeschooling law in each state, check out TheHomeSchoolMom's Local Homeschool Support.
Surround yourself with other homeschoolers
You will, at some point in your homeschooling career, feel like you are out on a limb by yourself. It's only by hanging out with other homeschoolers that you will find out you're really not—that many others have been where you are and have encountered the challenges you are facing. Join a homeschool co-op, participate in a homeschooling group, attend a homeschooling convention... surround yourself with other homeschoolers.
By doing so you will be able to get ideas, receive support, and make sure your kids have friends that do the same thing they do. Having a homeschooling community is critical for homeschooling success, for both you and your children. For more information about homeschool groups where you live, see TheHomeSchoolMom's Local Homeschool Resources.
Don't compare to public school
If you homeschool, don't try to compare yourself or your homeschooling to public school. Homeschooling is completely different from public school, and many of its benefits come precisely from the fact that it is not public school.
Individualized education, flexibility in schedule and techniques, opportunity to disseminate personal and faith values, the ability to adapt all aspects of schooling to the student's needs rather than making the student fit into the plan for the group, teaching in-depth on subjects of interest rather than teaching blurbs for a test, and creative outside resources are just a few of the advantages homeschooling provides more effectively than public school.
So don't try and pattern your homeschool after public school. Make it whatever you need it to be for your unique family. Know that your homeschool will be different from what public school is and does, but that because of that, your children are getting different benefits from public school.
[Ed. note: Read about how it works if your children might be going from homeschool to public school at some point.]
Adjust your expectations to the long-term
Public school is ingrained in focusing on episodic learning per semester and per year, according to the cycles of standardized testing. In other words, all children are generally expected to know x concepts by x point in the school year.
Homeschooling, on the other hand, tends to be more focused on long-term learning. Johnny might be ahead of his public school equivalent grade level in Reading but behind grade level in Math. There is no problem with this because the goal is that by the end of his schooling he will have mastered all of the necessary concepts for all subjects.
The path it takes him to get there in homeschooling does not have to be linear as is expected in public school. Allow your child the flexibility to learn at his or her own pace without the pressures of needing to adhere to the guidelines of public school sequence and standardized testing.
Treat each child as an individual
The beauty of homeschooling is that your kids do not all have to be using the same materials or doing the same thing in the same way! Don't assume that you will get one math program for all of your children. Treat each child as an individual, and purchase homeschool curriculum according to each child's learning style, interests, and abilities.
One child might need more hands-on activities, while another child might learn best with traditional textbook-style resources. One child might be able to work independently while another might require significant parental support and guidance. One child might accomplish work more effectively with periodic tests interjected at strategic learning points, whereas testing and grades might demoralize another child, who would learn better with Mom simply keeping track of progress without official grading or testing.
Make your child's needs the focus, not the materials.
Hello,
Any advice on homeschooling a child with ASD? My son is very mild, however I'm concerned I'm not qualified enough. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you
Bethany, I don't have any special expertise on homeschooling a child with ASD, but many children who have special needs can benefit from the flexibility of homeschooling if that's what works for their family. In general, my advice is to remember that you don't have to do things a "school way" if another way works better for your child. Read about the benefits of homeschooling and think about how each benefit can come into play for your particular son and his education. Additionally, homeschooling does not have to mean that you're on your own. If there are specialists who provide real help to you and your child, their work can be part of your child's education, too. I encourage you to read about ASD from a wide variety of sources, including different authors. Also read what autistic adults have to say about their experiences. I have seen widely varied ideas on how to work with children who have ASD, and you should educate yourself about the possibilities. Good luck!
This is very informative! Thank you so much for writing it! I've decided that I'm GOING to homeschool my daughter. She's only 2.5, but hey, I've been "homeschooling" since she was born! Haha I taught her to walk, talk, climb, write the number 1, etc etc. I feel as though every parent "homeschools" their child until they send them off to whatever school.
I know that I can teach my child better than the teachers at a public school. It'll also allow her to see her Daddy almost every day as he has a changing work schedule that often requires him to work afternoons until late at night.
Anyways, I found your # 5 particularly perplexing! I'm beginning my research on what I need to do to homeschool our little girl. I never actually considered that I can teach her without adhering to the public school system's sequence. That's actually quite relieving!
My parents and family do not support our decision to homeschool and my husband is skeptical but has agreed to "let" me homeschool as long as it goes well and on the condition that if I'm in over my head, we'll enroll her in public school. Hahaha but we'll do great!
My family have all gone to public school except my brother in law, who had a very bad experience with homeschooling. But that's alright. I will homeschool my daughter, and perhaps someday they'll be ok with it, but it's my decision (and my husband's) and it will allow her to get a much better education that individualized for her.
I'm excited to "start" as I have always learned very quickly and I love reading, so I'm sure that she will too.
Anyways, thank you for making this post! It's very helpful!
Hi, my son just started kindergarten but the problem is we are very attached to one another, he is having a hard time adjust and as a mom is hurts me to see him cry every morning &' not want to go! I am considering trying home school and I and am really just wondering what are the steps that I need to take to get that going for him, I live in houston texas! Thank you! ☺️
Hi Chelsie - Each state sets its own homeschooling requirements, so we direct homeschoolers to local resources for getting started. You can find out more about homeschooling on our Getting Started page, which will also direct you to our local resources page where you can find homeschoolers in your state to connect with.
I really like your blog. It is very easy to navigate and read. I have a new one up on homeschooling and being a parent. The site is called otherwiseknownasmom.com I would love if you would take a look and give me your opinion. Again I really like your blog.
I live abroad and the schools are not very good. i am originally from Texas. where can i get books online for my child. she will be starting kindergarten.
thank you
Thanks for this!
I have a question in regards to the “letter of intent”
My daughter is only 4 until October.
Upon her incessant begging and her scoring >160 in all the categories on the kindergarten assessments tests, I am convinced she is ready to begin Kinder.
Do I need to send a letter of intent this year?
Or can I send one next year, intending to begin 1st grade?
Will they need to see the completion of an accredited kindergarten curriculum?
Especially because next August she will still be 5.
And am I too late as it is August already this year?
Thanks, Ciara
Hi Ciara,
Are you in Virginia? The laws vary by state. Typically it's best to teach your child on whatever schedule fits their needs, but to submit their level to the county as what fits their age (if they are advanced). While a 4 year old might be well ahead of her peers, the same child as a high schooler might not and you don't want to have to drop her back a grade later. Grade levels are a lot less important for homeschoolers (a child may be in a wide range of grade levels for different subjects).
I hope this helps.
Mary Ann
This helped me out a lot! I am just now considering homeschooling with my Son and I am completely lost. I live in Kingwood, Texas and I cannot find any homeschoolers, groups, nothing around my area 🙁
I am not sure what book stores there are around here, what curriculum I follow NOTHING!
Please HELP!!
Joana
Hi Joana,
Have you checked our Getting Started page? I suggest looking for support online if you can't find anything in your area. In looking for curriculum, most homeschoolers buy online or at conventions. Rainbow Resource carries an immense selection.
Mary Ann
This is really well-written, Rebecca! Am looking forward to part 2 . . .