At some point, every homeschooler has probably asked, "How do I know if I'm doing enough?"
The short answer: “It’s always enough, and conversely, it’s never enough.” Helpful, right?
The long answer: According to the National Center for Education Statistics, about one-third of college freshmen take remedial courses. There are no statistics for how that breaks down into public, private, and homeschool graduates, but homeschool students only account for 3-4% of the K-12 student population. Odds are pretty low that those in remedial college courses are all homeschoolers.
Which means that even some students in public and private schools aren’t “learning enough” to satisfy college requirements. And college may not even be the goal for your student.
If you are concerned that what you are doing isn’t enough, it probably is. As with parenting in general, if you're worried enough to think you're not doing a good job, you're likely worried enough to be giving it your all.
Below are a few tips to guide you and make you feel less adrift, but know that you can’t stop someone from learning without exerting more effort than most of us want to deal with. My best tip is to foster your child’s love of learning (or give them time and space to rediscover it, if necessary), and help them learn how to find answers to their questions. When one enjoys learning, “it is always enough, yet never enough,” because she will always learn what needs to be learned to accomplish a specific goal, yet always be yearning to learn more.
Read on for more concrete ideas.
- Determine long-term goals for each student.
This will obviously look different for a seven-year-old than for a fifteen-year-old. For younger students, it can be a list of skills to learn before entering middle school. (I’m more relaxed, so I’m thinking of life skills and things like reading and basic math, rather than an extensive list of academic milestones, but that’s something for each family to decide for themselves.)
Older students can start thinking about whether college is right for them, and if so, what do they need to do to prepare for the program and school they’re in which they’re interested? If college isn’t in the plan, then what skills do they need (or want) to learn to provide income after (or even during) high school?
Write these goals down, and if the list is overwhelming, break it down into yearly goals. (TheHomeSchoolMom's subscriber exclusive homeschool planner has sheets to help track long- and short-term goals.) This whole process needs to involve the student—no one will work toward someone else’s goal. If the goal is not the student’s, then have a valid reason for adding it. (Learning to do laundry is probably not on any child’s to-do list, but it’s a life skill that we all need to learn.)
- It’s okay to let your child focus on one topic for a few weeks or months (or longer).
Or even a video game, because kids will become interested in all kinds of things after encountering them in games. My older son developed an interest in WWII and the German language from one video game. Both my boys are constantly asking me if an item, place, or word in a video game is a real thing. Minecraft and Pokemon have started many a discussion in our house.
Don’t allow video games, but your child read something during a lesson, and is now fixated on learning anything and everything about that subject? Is it driving you crazy because she won’t do her math or her history or her literature or whatever doesn’t ring her bell right now?
Relax. Breathe. You have three options:
- You can continue to battle.
- You can find a way to work her interest into the other subjects you want her to work on.
- Or you can just let her go. If it’s a niche topic, she’ll exhaust her resources quickly and be ready to move on. If not, then as she branches out, she’ll learn more and more about other topics. It is literally impossible to only learn about one thing. It’s like Six Degrees of Separation, but with learning. Everything is connected. Knowledge doesn’t exist in isolation.
I’d recommend either of the second two options. Making learning a battleground doesn’t benefit anyone.
- Stop comparing your children to others and stop comparing yourself to other parents.
Remember that you are homeschooling so that you can individualize your child’s education. If you wanted them to have a public school education, you would put them in public school.
No one has it all together. No one (even public school Honor students) can possibly learn everything. Remember that what you see on the surface is never the whole story. Everyone struggles with something. Almost everyone suffers from Imposter Syndrome. (It’s pretty fascinating. Here is one article about it; you can Google for further information.)
So, just relax and enjoy watching your kids learn. You’re already doing enough.
Amanda has been a homeschool mom for almost two decades. Her long history of taking random courses coupled with her tendency to hyperfocus on details to the exclusion of the metaphorical forest eventually led to her current career as a virtual admin assistant. Her hobbies include trying to convince the cats that the humans are in charge, listening to her kids talk for hours about anime, and learning languages she'll probably never use with native speakers.
Thank you for this article! It was really helpful!
Thanks for letting us know the article helped you, Maria. The question "Are we doing enough?" is asked so often!
Thanks. My daughter is first time homeschooling this year in 6th grade. I feel like is it enough and how can I tell without the aimsweb tests and the caasp tests
The tests you mention are given to schools full of students because teachers cannot work with children individually to assess what they know and what level skill they have attained. Working one on one with a child, you can see whether they are learning and what their skill level is. It's really that simple. So for example, if I see that my child doesn't form all of their letters correctly, then I know I want them to improve in this skill. If I see that my child doesn't understand how to multiply fractions, then I know that is something they have yet to learn.
It helps to remember that testing was invented later, to make up for the fact that first-hand assessment of many students in an institutional setting is challenging. First and best is always observing and speaking with a child.
If a parent is always offering to meet a child at their own level and providing learning opportunities, then it is enough.
While I personally don't recommend a focus on grade level, parents can look at state standards on their state department of education website to get an idea of school expectations for each grade. Parents can also choose standardized tests from vendors that provide tests parents can administer at home. However, it's important to keep in mind that this can lead us into comparing our child to others and to grade level standards. If a child is already learning at a good pace and to the level of their ability, such comparisons can create unnecessary worry or encourage us to "coast" because we think our child is ahead of the game.
My thought? Best to watch the child rather than the test, unless you suspect there is a situation in which expert help would actually help.
It is a transition in thinking, I know! Good luck!
Looking forward,
Jeanne
Thank you for writing this! It is exactly what I needed in this season.